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Tuesday, October 24, 2006

KHUM Photos

Some photos of our KHUM in-studio performance a couple of months ago.
posted by axton kincaid #

Monday, October 09, 2006

The Long-Awaited NW Tour Post

How do real bands on real tours write real blog entries? We were only gone four-and-a-half days, and the prospect of chronicling it feels impossible--hence this pathetic entry several months after our return. The AK archivist is an inherently lazy person with a bad memory, so this is a serious matter of diminishing returns. Our apologies for this photo-heavy, incredibly incomplete chronicling of our adventures.

Day 1: Rule #3, No Drinking Whiskey in the Van, Is Overruled in the First 30 Miles

By utilizing their math degree and software engineering experience, respectively, MacRyGyver solve the Case of the Beers That Got Warm in the Car but Need to Be Drunk Right Now. This shot was taken in the hotel just before they went drinking at the one tavern still open at 11pm in Willits, CA. By the end of the night, they'd eaten 20 Taco Bell tacos and thrown the hotel pool furniture in the pool. Rock and roll!

Day 2: We Eat for Free, and Unfortunately Drink for Free Too

The fine folks at KHUM had us in for an in-studio performance, AND they fed us! Sweet. Mike and Monica (pictured) came to our show in Arcata that night and Monica winged it on bass for "Rollin' in My Sweet Baby's Arms." From what we can remember, it was totally awesome.

Day 3: God's Hangover
Recipe for God's Hangover: Throw one bunch of alcoholics in a bar that serves only high-alcohol microbrews for 6 hours, sprinkle 2 hours' sleep, apply a large helping of Oregon Coast switchback highway. Let stew for 7 hours at 100 degrees.

Here is Mac with God's Hangover. He has just taken his turn in the passenger seat to avoid the vomitorious back seat now occupied by Ryan and Jen. It is a musical chairs of vomit.

Here is Kate with God's Hangover. She has recently vacated the driver's seat, where she was ordered to go after her fourth stop to vomit along the side of beautiful Highway 199. She is now attempting to get her third hour of sleep in the last 48 hours.

Here are Ryan and Jen with God's Hangover. Although they were least affected by the over-indulgence of the previous night (or maybe just the least vocal about it), they were brought down by a combination of 1) driving the last leg into Portland while hungover 2) Driving the last leg into Portand while hungover in bumper-to-bumper traffic right as a U of O football game got out 3) Driving the last leg into Portand while hungover in bumper-to-bumper traffic right as a U of O football game got out in 100-degree weather in a car without air conditioning.

Here are Jonny and his lovely new bride Jenn with God's Hangover. It suits him, don't you think?

We include this photo because it gives a hint as to how sweaty and wobbly Kate was as she continued to battle God's Hangover on an empty (rather, continuously emptIED) stomach in a smoky basement club (which used to be the Portland morgue!) Amazingly, though, this turned out to be the best show of the tour. Immediately after it, our Portland friends took her back to their house for saltines and water (for her) and beer (for them) on their front porch. By 3 a.m., the rest of the band had made it back from the club, but only after Jen realized she didn't have her car keys and Marcus had to drive back to the club to bring them to her--thanks again, Marcus!

For every Hell, there is a Heaven (at least in country music), and ours was the house of our friends Elise and Marcus, where we stayed in Portland. We each had our own bed! They brought us fresh-baked goods in the morning! They have the cutest dogs in the world! Look at how clean and refereshed we all look. We vowed at this moment to move to Portland (vow still pending).

Day 4: Mac's Secret Past Life as an Abercrombie & Fitch Model Is Revealed
Our last show was in Eugene, home of the (now accursed, after Day 3's drive) University of Oregon Ducks, and Mac's alma mater. We played at Sam Bond's Garage, where we immediately felt at home because they serve their microbrews in mason jars and there was a bluegrass jam happening in the beer garden as we walked in. Since we had a few hours before soundcheck and were feeling so good, we figured we might as well go to the tavern across the street because, you know, it'd been at least 2 hours since we'd had a drink.

Welcome to the Tiny Tavern.

The inside of Tiny Tavern. The walls were all white and the booths were all red. It was the brightest and best-lit dive bar we'd ever been in.

Note Kate is standing fully upright for this show.

There was a lot of love at Sam Bond's Garage that night.

Here Kate, Jen and Mac demonstrate the Oakie Stomp a Trois, a rare dance from the backwoods of southern Oregon. We all thought Mac was pretty wasted at this point, but we had no idea just how wasted he would get.

NOTE: at Mac's request, we took down the photos of his debauchery in the following section. You'll just have to use your imagination or bribe them out of him.

Mac kept asking Ryan why he threw that chair at him and spilled his beer all over his shirt, to which Ryan kept having to explain, "I did it so you would quite pinching everyones' nipples," and then five minutes would pass and Mac would notice the beer on his shirt and repeat the process. (To be fair, Mac was a true southern gentleman and only pinched men's nipples.)

People, if your shirt is covered in beer and no one will tell you why, there is an easy solution to your problem: Take your shirt off! This photo, the most artistic and flattering in a series part Bruce Weber, part A&F catalogue and part Drunk Southern Boys Gone Wild, is the only one Mac has allowed (Note: see above disclaimer) us to post.

On their way back to the hotel, the guys stopped at a 7-Eleven, where they ran in to Jen, who was buying water and turning down the clerk's offer of marriage. She later claimed she didn't know which was more disturbing--the clerk or her drunk bandmates.

"Which was more disturbing, Jen? The 7-Eleven clerk..."

"...or your drunk bandmates?"
Day 5: We Return Home--Triumphant, Sweaty, and One of Us $500 Richer

The whole tour, Ryan was like, "I want to gamble! I want to gamble!" and "Hey, guys, do you think we'll be able to stop at a casino at some point? Huh, do ya?" and we were like, "Whatever, Ryan." And then on the way home, we got stuck in construction near Lake Shasta (three lanes into one over a holiday weekend??!!) and almost killed each other, so we pulled off at the first casino we saw to get lunch and bask in their air conditioning. We leave Ryan alone for 10 minutes, and he comes back with this!

Ryan's profit and a successful tour notwithstanding, we weren't so excited about going back to the grind...
posted by axton kincaid #

No Concussion Yet

We've been on concussion alert since our Saturday show at Plough and Stars, but so far, so good. Although Mac dropped Kate on her head, she shows no sign of a brain injury. We had better luck getting Jonny and Jen up crowd surfing during the Rubberneckers' set. Mac's rassling partner from our last Plough and Stars show was there, but he wasn't up for a match this time. Poor Mac.
posted by axton kincaid #

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